Mario: Thank you for sending Toad to the underworld. You're a little bit closer to paying off your debt, which by the way, is huge.
Sonic: Yeah I seem to have a nack for murder, plus I got a little something from his bird girlfriend if you know what I mean, Wink Wink?
Mario: Eh, I'm not a 100% on this but, I think that thing may have been a dude at one point.
Sonic: Eh, whatever I'm a busy man. I can't be constily checking for penises. So what's the next job?
Mario: OK, what I need from you- Wait a minute, who's too busy to check for a penis?
Sonic: This guy! I got places to go and penises not to check. Let's move this along.
Mario: Alright whatever look, there's a certain group of pissed-off birds that have gotten a little too popular lately. I want them gone.
Sonic: No probemo, Mario Batali.
Mario: [annoyed] That's not my name.
Sonic: [sarcastically excited] What's up guys? Killing pigs, huh? Sounds like fun!
Chuck: HO HO, shit! It's that stupid hedgehog guy!
Red: Hey look at my spiky hair and attitude. I'm so fucking extreme!
Matilda: What, you come here, trying to mooch off our success, old man?
Sonic: No, I'm just a huge fan. I love any game that extends my time on the shitter by ten hours. Say, do you guys want some gum?
[Sonic takes out three pieces of gum and throws them to Chuck, Red, and Matilda, who begin eating them.]
Chuck: Mmhmhmm! For a washed up loser you know some good gum. What kind is this?
Sonic: Oh I'm glad you like it! it's my own recipe, mostly Alka-Seltzer and rice. Enjoy it, it's gonna explode your stomachs.
[Foam begins forming in Chuck, Red, and Matilda's mouths as they die.]
Sonic: Alright, time to fry up some bacon and eggs!
[Sonic runs off screen, but comes back and picks up Matilda's corpse.]
Sonic: Hm, I think I'm gonna throw some chicken in there too and make my self a kickass omelette!