[Scene opens in Mario's office, where Mario and Sonic are talking.]

Mario: Thank you for sending Toad to the underworld. You're a little bit closer to paying off your debt, which by the way, is huge.

Sonic: Yeah I seem to have a nack for murder, plus I got a little something from his bird girlfriend if you know what I mean, Wink Wink?

Mario: Eh, I'm not a 100% on this but, I think that thing may have been a dude at one point.

Sonic: Eh, whatever I'm a busy man. I can't be constily checking for penises. So what's the next job?

Mario: OK, what I need from you- Wait a minute, who's too busy to check for a penis?

Sonic: This guy! I got places to go and penises not to check. Let's move this along.

Mario: Alright whatever look, there's a certain group of pissed-off birds that have gotten a little too popular lately. I want them gone.

Sonic: No probemo, Mario Batali.

[Sonic leaves.]

Mario: [annoyed] That's not my name.

[Scene transitions to Angry Birds, where Chuck, Red, and Matilda are. Sonic enters.]

Sonic: [sarcastically excited] What's up guys? Killing pigs, huh? Sounds like fun!

Chuck: HO HO, shit! It's that stupid hedgehog guy!

Red: Hey look at my spiky hair and attitude. I'm so fucking extreme!

Matilda: What, you come here, trying to mooch off our success, old man?

Sonic: No, I'm just a huge fan. I love any game that extends my time on the shitter by ten hours. Say, do you guys want some gum?

[Sonic takes out three pieces of gum and throws them to Chuck, Red, and Matilda, who begin eating them.]

Chuck: Mmhmhmm! For a washed up loser you know some good gum. What kind is this?

Sonic: Oh I'm glad you like it! it's my own recipe, mostly Alka-Seltzer and rice. Enjoy it, it's gonna explode your stomachs.

[Foam begins forming in Chuck, Red, and Matilda's mouths as they die.]

Sonic: Alright, time to fry up some bacon and eggs!

[Sonic runs off screen, but comes back and picks up Matilda's corpse.]

Sonic: Hm, I think I'm gonna throw some chicken in there too and make my self a kickass omelette!

Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.