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Sonic: Alright, Bandicoot, give back the Epoch!

Crash: No way, Bro'se! Whatever that fat tub of fat Eggman did in the past made me the biggest thing since torn with your hands bread!

Sonic: You mean sliced bread?

Crash: What is a sliced bread?

Sonic: You're telling me you don't have sliced—ugh, time travel's so annoying!

Crash: Oh, come on! It's not so bad! Hey, why don't you come with me on a job. It'll be like I'm you and you're that bisexual rabbit that always follows you around.

Sonic: Tails is a rabbit? (cut to Pong) Is the job to bore me to death? Because you're very good at it.

Crash: No way, Bro'se! I'm so amazingly popular that I get paid to give games a Bandicoot Makeover!

Sonic: Bandicoot Makeover? Is that the sex move where you spin dash behind the girl and she jams emeralds up your—

  • Crash: No way, Bro'se! Check this out! (turns Pong into Crash Bandicoot Pong) Presto! Another job well done!

Sonic: This is fucking terrible! Step aside, Crash… Banjo-Kazooie. Time to give this game the Sonic Touch! Not the sex move. (turns Crash Bandicoot Pong into Sonic & Pong)

Crash: Oh man, what the hell did you do!?

Sonic: I made it awesome! Come on, I got another game I need you to fix.

Crash: I should probably fix this first...

Sonic: No way, Bro'se! Fuck! Now you got me saying it!

Crash: (cuts to Metal Slug with Crash in an electric chair and Sonic by a lever) Uh, it's kinda hard to do the Bandicoot Makeover like this.

Sonic: (punches Crash) I need you to be focused! (pulls the lever and electrocutes Crash) Tell me where the Epoch is!

Crash: No, man! I don't wanna!

Sonic: (pulls the lever again) You either give me what I need or this switch will stay on until they turn the power off for lack of payment on the bill! Crash: No, stop! I'll tell you! I'll tell you! It's… It's in my garage.

Sonic: Oh, I probably should've checked there first. Okay, I believe you… (dramatic zoom in) …but that won't save you! (pulls the lever and leaves Crash to die from electrocution… until he comes back a second later) I tried to make this as close to taken as possible. I think I did a good job, right? (Crash can't respond due to said electrocution) Fine. Don't answer me, dick.

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