[Scene opens in Mario's office, with Mario sitting at his desk.]
Mario: So, how did the frogacham go? By the looks of it, everything went off without a hitch.
Sonic: Oh, yeah, everything went great. And Luigi definitely didn't get murdered by a truck. Right, Luigi?
Tails: [Luigi impression] Oh, yeah! Everything went as smooth as mama's pizza, ravioli de teeny!
Mario: Oh, I miss her ravoili de teeny. And, her busted gettolies. Anyway, I got an easy job for you this time. Head over to Donkey Kong Country and pick up some TNT barrels. I feel like blowin' up some worlds.
[Sonic and Tails exit while carrying Luigi's corpse.]
Mario: Nickname, please?
Sonic: Oh, um, Mario Andretti?
Mario: Eh, this joke's run it's course, yeah?
Sonic: Yeah, pretty much. Okay, I gotta go.
[Sonic leaves. Scene transitions to Donkey Kong Country where Sonic and Tails put Luigi's corpse in a barrel.]
Sonic: Okay. Luigi, don't go anywhere, 'til we get back, all right? [laughs]
Tails: Yeah, hilarious, all right. Look, there's the barrels. Let's just get 'em and go.
[Sonic and Tails go to where the TNT Barrels and Candy Kong are.]
Sonic: Oh-ho! Woof! Hey, uh, we need that TNT, so, if you could just, uh, put this bag over your head, and step aside, that'd be awesome.
[Sonic takes out a paper bag and throws it to Candy Kong.]
Candy Kong: Oh, you're a cutie pie. I'll move for a kiss… and SEX.
Tails: All right, come on, man. Just hurry up and plow her so we can get the hell out of here.
Sonic: No way, dude. I may have boned a mutant brain monster, but I am drawing the line at this thing. It's just Donkey Kong in a bikini.
Candy Kong: No boom-boom, no "boom-boom".
Sonic: Huh-huh. Fine. I'm serious about the paper bag, though.
[Mario appears and is very cross. Sonic and Tails back up in horror.]
Mario: You're fuckin' dead, Sonic!
Sonic: Whew, thank god. I'll honestly take death right about now.
Mario: The little froggy that was SUPPOSED to be dead, just hopped into my office, and told me what happened!
Sonic: Oh, Frogger? Clearly that was his ghost. Do you know about this? He's a lying ghost fuck now that hates Italian dudes.
Mario: What about Luigi's mutilated corpse in that barrel?
Sonic: Classic Luigi, always nappin' in a barrel.
Mario: Ima fuckin' kill you, where you stand, Sonic! YOU'RE FUCKIN' DE—AAAAHHH!!!
[Candy Kong punches Mario, making him fall off the cliff.]
Sonic: Holy shit! You saved my life!
Candy Kong: How about you repay me with some-
[Sonic kicks Candy Kong, making her fall off the cliff.]
Candy Kong: SEEEEEEX!
Sonic: Yeah, still not worth it.
[Ending sequence. Scene transitions to Donkey Kong Country as Mario climbs up the cliff'.]
Mario: Dun-dun-duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun. Mario's still aliiiiive.