Double Dragon/Transcript

"Double Dragon"

	In Mario's office.
Mario	You've done good for me, so far. Now, I need you to take out the brothers from Double Dragon.
Sonic	Wait, wait. Do you mean the brothers or the brothas?
Mario	(sighs) The queer looking white guys that aren't related. Why is everything such a fuckin' deal with you?! The Black Warriors work for me. And, these two were been beatin' up my guys, and now, morale is pretty low. I can't have that in my business. Especially, down in the street crap division where petty larceny and theft require a lot of ethusiasum.
Sonic	Let me ask you something. How—how long am I gonna be workin' for you? Is there a set value for each kill or is it very base of difficulty? Maybe, there was a one in tally or a spreadsheet or somethin' I could get a look at?
Mario	Alright, all right. I'll have accounting check into it. Now, go to the thing, where you annoy everybody then kill 'em.
Sonic	Consider it done, A.C. Slater. (leaves)
Mario	Okay, wait, wait, wait. H-hold on. What, what?
	Sonic comes back.
Mario	What?
Sonic	You know--cause--uh, Mario Lopez.
Mario	Okay, that actually wasn't bad. Get outta here.
	Sonic leaves again. In Double Dragon game, Jimmy Lee and Billy Lee fight the bad guys, and then they saw Sonic.
Jimmy Lee	Hey, Billy Lee. Look at this shirtless guy with a blowout.
Billy Lee	Long island's that-a way, loser!
Sonic	Keep it up, douchers! I got a reinforcements! Come on, let's get em', guys!
	Earthworm Jim and Dr. Eggman came, and Earthworm Jim and Dr. Eggman argues.
Sonic	Focus, guys! We got a job, here!
Earthworm Jim	You said if we'd help you out, you'd buy us lunch, but Eggman wants General Tso's, and I want pork vindaloo.
Dr. Eggman	Oh, I can't eat vindaloo, it's too spicy!
Earthworm Jim	General Tso's is just as hot.
Sonic	Look, you idiots. Theres an Indian place right across the street from Hunan on 5th. We can get both. Now, can we just do this?!
	Earthworm Jim and Dr. Eggman comes over to Jimmy Lee and Billy Lee, and Jimmy Lee and Billy Lee fight Earthworm Jim and Dr. Eggman.
Sonic	What the fuck? I should've just brought Soniqua.
	Sonic comes over to a woman, and Jimmy Lee, Billy Lee, Earthworm Jim, and Dr. Eggman keep fighting.
Sonic	(talking to the woman) Do you like Indian food? Cause, I wanna dip my naan in your tahini.
Linda	Indian food gives me the shits.
Sonic	(laughs) Gross.
	Sonic and Linda walk away, and Jimmy Lee, Billy Lee, Earthworm Jim, and Dr. Eggman keep fighting.
Dr. Eggman	Fighting back didn't work.
	In the Lowbrow logo
Sonic	Look, look, look, before you leave a comment, I gave Earthworm Jim his suit back for the fight, okay? See you next week, Internet. (walks away)
End of "Double Dragon"