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“Hey, either one of you guys wanna murder me? You may do me a huge fucking solid!” — Crabmeat

Sonic For Hire: Eggman is the fourth episode of the sixth season of the Sonic For Hire series and is the sixty-ninth episode overall. In this episode, Eggman steals the Epoch and changes the present, so Sonic and Tails set off to undo what he has done.

Plot

Eggman, having stolen the Epoch in the last episode, uses it to travel back to Sonic & Knuckles, a few minutes after Sonic originally arrived there. He arrives inside his past mech just as Past Sonic and 90's Knuckles prepare to finish him off, only for him to be ready and get the drop on them. He announces his intent to take the Chaos Emeralds and rule the world, before flying off. 90's Knuckles notices that Eggman just did some "hittin' and splittin'". Past Sonic agrees that that one wasn't bad, but still wishes he would stop doing that.

Back in Streets of Rage, a flash of distorted light changes the future. When Sonic asks what just happened, Tails hypothesizes that Eggman, much like Sonic, has altered the past, and as such, changed the present. He begins to tell Sonic about the Butterfly Effect when Sonic stops him, angrily mentioning that explaining all the technicalities of time travel is the worst part of time travel. Tails guesses that from the looks of things, he and Sonic are unscathed by the temporal changes, only for Sonic's phone to chime. Sonic watches as his stock and fortune plummet from 600 million dollars to 60 cents, rendering him broke for the umpteenth time. Sonic suggests that he and Tails head off to beat up Eggman. Inside a castle filled with treasure, Sonic cautions Tails about whatever diabolical plans Eggman has been dreaming up, only to be incredibly disgusted when he discovers Eggman, now a giant lump of fat with skin, underwear, and a mustache. Sonic initially confuses the extra fat Eggman for Kathleen Turner, until Tails tells him that it is Eggman he's looking at, despite being 80% sure that he's not Kathleen Turner.

Fat Eggman confirms both of them that he is who he's looking for, calling himself almighty. Sonic mentions that he doesn't look very almighty for someone who has badniks washing his fat flaps. Fat Eggman mentions that the flaps are the hardest part to get, reasoning that he once found a whole minifridge filled with pepperoni slices in one of them. Tails asks Eggman what he did to himself to turn into a giant ball of fat. Eggman mentions that he had wealth, power, and fame after ruling the world... until he invented a confection known as the "Taco Sandwich": essentially 10 tacos between 2 more tacos for bread. Before Eggman knew it, he had gotten so huge, he needed a Crabmeat to wipe his ass. A Crabmeat soon appears from behind Eggman, asking if Sonic and/or Tails would murder him, since they'd be doing him a huge solid. Sonic ignores him, and goes to take the Epoch back from him. Eggman has forgotten to mention that a new video game star is in town, and this new star stole the Epoch from him to make sure things stay their way.

On the beach, Sonic discovers the Epoch thief is none other than Crash Bandicoot, who initially mistakes for Bubsy.

Character Appearances

Transcript

To be added.

Video

To be uploaded.