Sonic For Hire: Falco is the twelfth episode of the fifth season of the Sonic For Hire series and is the sixty-fourth episode overall. In this episode, Falco challenges Sonic to a Space Race.


The scene opens on the Great Fox. Sonic, Tails, Eggman, and Jim return from a mission in Galaga, hinted by carrying enemies from said game. Sonic proposes that they celebrate their success of the mission by frying up the Galaga bugs, but Tails reminds everyone that they killed about 40 innocent bystanders and, once again, they may not even be getting paid. Sonic then annoyingly remarks that nobody likes Tails. Everyone soon discovers that Fox McCloud and Falco Lombardi have finally returned to the Great Fox after 11 episodes, and accuse them of trashing the place.

Sonic tries to remember who he is, his lack of being good with names ends up making him call him Darth Vader. Tails confirms that he's Fox, and tells the mercenary pilot that they've been doing all of his and Falco's work for them, and demands to where they have been. Fox answers by telling them that he and Falco were stuck on Earth, and became huge movie stars with the help of a "weird, pink, penis looking guy". Sonic, having been in a near identical situation last season, hypocritically calls the whole experience a huge waste of time. Fox tells Falco to show Sonic, Tails, Eggman, and Jim the door, while he looks around the Great Fox to see what else the group have done... and is horrified to see Mother Brain in the bathtub.

Falco tells the guys to leave, and Sonic follows with retorts with the classic "Or what?" response. Falco then takes out his blaster and shoots Slippy Toad in the foot, disintegrating it along with half of his leg. Peppy Hare asks if he is OK, though Slippy says that he's in the mood for hot dogs. Falco admits that his misfire wasn't the best example, but implies the group got the idea, with Sonic questioning Falco by asking if "Space Frog" is on their team. Falco then says that there is only one way to settle the matter. Eggman suggests another round of Family Feud. Falco tells the doctor that he is wrong. He proposes a challenge to Sonic: a Space Race; an obstacle course/race through the cosmos to test a pilot's strength, skill, and speed. He makes things interesting by declaring that whoever wins the race will get to keep the Great Fox. Sonic agrees, and tells Eggman to make some adjustments to his Arwing to defeat Falco. Eggman then asks how many deep fryers he wants, though Sonic says he doesn't want any deep fryers. Eggman, though reluctant, still agrees.

Outside the Great Fox, Sonic and Falco are in their Arwings. Eggman tells Sonic that he should find and press a red button late in the race to give his Arwing a little extra edge. Sonic likes what he hears, though he mentions that Eggman couldn't help himself, since his cockpit contains 4-5 deep fryers. Peppy then announces that the first one to clear the obstacle course and complete two laps around Area 6 wins the race. Falco and Sonic make verbal jabs at each other as Peppy begins signalling when the two can start racing. Just before Peppy says "go" however, Sonic pushes the button, causing a giant pair of wrecking balls to appear. They smash against Falco's Arwing, and then a barrage of missiles begins flying at it. Sonic's Arwing then sprouts two hands, one of which grabs Falco's Arwing while the other punches it. Several more missiles are shot at it, and the ship, using the hands, begins humping the Arwing. A third group of missiles are fired. Finally, Sonic's Arwing dispenses a bomb that floats slowly towards Falco's Arwing, and produces a massive explosion, destroying it. Only then does Peppy say "GO!"

After the Lowbrow screen, a brain juice covered Fox yells that the group is going to pay for Falco's death... after he downs half a dozen roofies and washes the disgusting brain sex off of him.

Character Appearances


Click here to see the transcript.