[Sonic arrives back at Mario's office and Mario is cross.]

Mario: Hey, I told you to take out those Double Dragon banana heads! What's the matter with you?!

Sonic: I know. I fucked up… [Sonic grabs the dead Bub, drops Bub on the floor.] …but I did murder those two guys from Bubble Bobble, so…

Mario: What the fuck is a Bubble Bobble?! I didn't tell you to do that! Look, normally I'd put a Bullet Bill in your skull by now, but I'm gonna give you one more shot.

Sonic: Oh, good, 'cause I ordered a bunch of shit from Amazon and sent it here. Are you doing anything today? Because I'm gonna need someone to sign for it.

[Mario facepalms himself.]

Mario: There's a little frog that's backin' up traffic and delaying my shipments of drugs to the Underworld. I want that green fucker's head on a stake. You understand?

Sonic: Ah! The old murder and stake! No sweat.

Mario: And to make 100% sure that you don't screw this one up, I'm sending someone along to keep an eye on you, which of course is a figure of speech, because he's not a cyclops.

[Luigi shows up.]

Luigi: Hey Sonic, you know you're like my partner in crime over here!

Sonic: Alright, let's go Luigi… Ferigno? Nah, that's no good, I'll keep thinking.

[Sonic and Luigi leave.]

Mario: What? Mario doesn't get a nickname this week? Fine, I'll do it myself. Mario… uh… Hey Mario… uh… hmm. It's harder than it seems.

[Cuts to Sonic and Luigi on a city with Frogger on the sidewalk.]

Sonic: You like causing traffic jams, huh, Kermit?! You better believe it ain't easy being green!

Luigi: Hey, Sonic, you think this is one of those, uh, hippy psychadelic frogs or what?

Sonic: Uh, look, Luigi normally I'd be first in line to trip frog balls but uh, I'm trying to take this job seriously.

Luigi: Fuck it! I'm lickin' this bitch!

[Luigi licks Frogger and gets wide-eyed.]

Sonic: Whoa! Are you alright?

Luigi: Oh my god! This is some big shit over here! I feel so significant you know. I-I love everything! I even love my brother, despite like being a spotlight hoggin' fame whore. I'm on top of the world, Sonic! I'm on top of the—

[Luigi gets run over by a bus.]

Frogger: You're fucked.

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