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(in the office)

Mario: Thank you for sending Toad to the underworld. You're a little bit closer to paying off your debt, which by the way, is huge.

Sonic: Yeah, It seem I have a knack for murder. Plus, I got a little something extra from his bird girlfriend, if you know what mean, wink, wink. (winks two times at Mario by saying, "Wink-Wink")

Mario: Ehhh, I'm not 100% on this, but I think that thing may have been a dude at one point.

Sonic: Eh, whatever. I'm a busy man. I can't be constantly checking for penises. So what's the next job?

Mario: All right, what I need for you-- w-wait a minute. Who's too busy to check for a penis?

Sonic: This guy. I got places to go, and penises not to check. Let's move this along.

Mario: All right, whatever, look, there's a certain group of pissed off birds that have gotten a liitle too popular lately. I want them gone.

Sonic: No problem, Mario Batali. (dashes away)

Mario: That's, not my name...

(In Angry Birds' game)

Sonic: What's up, guys? Killin' pigs, huh? Sounds like fun!

Yellow Bird: Hoo-hoo, shit! It's that stupid hedgehog guy!

Red Bird: Hey, look at my spiky hair and attitude. I'm so fuckin' extreme.

White Bird: What? You come here trying to mooch off our success, old man?

Sonic: No, I'm just a huge fan. I love any game that extends my time on the shitter by 10 hours. (with a pack of gum in his hand) Say, do you guys want some gum?

(Sonic throws gums through three birds' mouth, and the birds chew gum)

Yellow Bird: Mmm-hm-hmm. For a washed up loser, you sure know some good gum. What kind is this?

Sonic: Oh, I'm glad you like it. It's my own recipe. Mostly Alka Seltzer and rice. Enjoy it, it's gonna explode your stomachs.

(The birds have rabies and die)

Sonic: All right, time to fry up some bacon and eggs. (dashes away, comes back, and grabs the white bird) Oh, I think I'm gonna throw some chicken in there, too, and make myself a kick-ass omelette. (runs off)

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