(The episode starts in Space Invaders, with Sonic walking into the fray)
Sonic: Look at this piece of shit game!
Solder: Watch your mouth! Atari's the only console you've got left! Word has it you've fucked up every other game you've touched! You're on the rugged edge Private! Watch out!
(A laser hits Sonic's head)
Sonic: What the hell was that? I think a bird just shit on me!
Soldier: These alien bastards are relentless!
Sonic: They're like butterfly kisses from your Mom!
Soldier: You try tellin' that to Sulley or Mac!
Sonic: Fuck this!
(Sonic kills all the Aliens)
Sonic: Later dork, I'm gonna find another job at some other shitty game..
(Sonic finds himself in E.T.)
Eliot: Hello mister! Will you help me build a phone for my alien friend so he can-
Sonic: Yeah whatever nerd. But first, why don't you grab your mommy's purse for your Uncle Sonic ok?
Eliot: Sure I just need to-
(Tails runs over Eliot, killing him instantly)
Tails: Sup dogshit! I figure I find you skimming it here!
Sonic: What the fuck man?! That little shit- He was about to- (Sonic tries to speak to Tails, but his friend turns up the radio to drown him out) THAT LITTLE SHIT, HE WAS ABOUT TO SCORE ME SOME CASH!
Tails: Hohoho... So pathetic! I'd love to stick around but I got a hot date with one Drew Barrymore. Anyway, I gotta go. Bmore hates it when I'm late. Hey want a ride to Eliot's mom's house?
Sonic: Yeah, totally!
(Tails drives off)
Sonic: Ugh... Let me just find this stupid alien and get the fuck outta here... (He drives his bike around before stopping and finding E.T.) Ugh, there you are... Hurry up and get in the basket weirdo!
E.T: Phone. Home!
Sonic: Yeah hang on, I got something that'll fly us all the way home..
(Sonic and E.T. smoke some crack from a pipe before flying over the moon)
Sonic: We're flying, this feels so good... (E.T. falls out of the basket screaming) Ah fuck!
E.T's fall kills him instantly while Sonic lands on his butt
Sonic: Shit. (Sonic ends up in jail) Ah.... Things cannot get worst!
(Thunderhead walks up to Sonic)
Thunderhead: Sonic! I can't believe it's you! Let's celebrate! I've gotta condom fulla wine up my ass one sec let me get that out!