(at a boxing ring)

Sonic: Wait, wha-- wha-- why did I agree to do this?

Tails: It's a big payday, man. So just hang in there, and y-- you're gonna be fine. Trust me.

Sonic: Look, look, I'm not feeling good about this. Is it too late to back out?

(shows Mike Tyson. The bell rings)

Tails: Yes, that bell- Yeah, now it's too late. Go get him, champ!

Sonic: Yeah, thanks a lot, dickface. Alright.

(Sonic dodges Tyson's punches and counter punches)

Sonic: Hey, this ain't so bad. I think I can take this guy!

(Sonic punches him some more)

Tails: Hey, that's great buddy! Uh, just, uh, don't go crazy, okay? I, uh, kinda bet against you, so, uh, I need you to lose.

Sonic: Wait, wait, you bet against me?!

(Mike Tyson punches Sonic, sending him backwards while rings fly out of him)

Sonic: Ow, ow, oh, my face! Tails, grab those coins, I need them for laundry!

(Mike Tyson repetitively punches Sonic)

Sonic: WHY... ISN'T... ANY... ONE... STOPPING... THIS?!

(cuts to Sonic's apartment where Sonic is in a body cast)

Tails: Well, you took one hell of a beating, man. But at least you still got some money left over from all those hospital bills, right? You know what you should do, head down to the Starlight Zone, pick yourself up a girl, get a little spin job, huh? You earned it.

Sonic: Nah, I decided it's time to grow up, you know? So I took that money and made a little investment.

Tails: Hay, good for you, man!

Sonic: Yeah, bought a sweet new frame for my poster.

(shows Dominique Wiklins poster in a frame)

Sonic: That baby's gonna pay for itself in like 15 - 20 years.

Tails: You stupid fu--


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