Sonic: And that's why they call it a matrial meat pie!
Tails: So... it's just a Canadian fucking a meat pie?
Tails: Why did you tell me this?
Sonic: 'Cause space blows and I like looking up weird shit on the Internet.
Tails: We have a doorbell?
(Sonic answers the door to find Shadow)
Shadow: Sonic! What's up, fuck face? Heard you were in town. Mind if I come in for a second? Thanks.
Sonic: Whoa, whoa, whoa... What kind of illegal shit are you into now?
Shadow: Illegal? Why would you think I was doing something illegal?
Tails: Well, that giant sack marked "STOLEN SHIT" is one clue. Plus, there's that...
(Cuts to outside the Great Fox, polic ships surrounding it)
Officer: Alright, Shadow, we know you're in there! And we know you just did some illegal shit!
(Cuts back to inside)
Shadow: Okay, so maybe I rented a couple of TVs, an XBox 360, a shitload of beer and 50 pounds of weed. Oh, and a bunch of Chaos Emeralds.
Sonic: Holy shit! XBox!
Tails: Uh... Sonic? Notice anything else important in that pile?
Sonic: Yeah. You didn't grab any of the cables for the XBox! Fucking amateur!
Tails: THE FUCKING CHAOS EMERALDS, YOU IDIOT!!!
Sonic: What? Yeah, shiny. Real cool.
Officer: This is your last warning, Shadow. Come out now or we'll start shooting your hostages! What.. That doesn't sound right.
Shadow: Go to hell, copper!
Dr. Eggman: Okay, somebody think of something quick. I got a brown baby in my butt oven and my contractions have already started!
Earthworm Jim: Butt oven?
Tails: Alright, I think I got an idea. Now, it's a little crazy, so hear me out.
(Cuts to a simulation of Tails' plan, Tails voicing over)
First, Sonic uses the Chaos Emeralds to become Super Sonic, then he goes outside and destroys the cops with his mystical powers. Then we return home, bring Mario back to life, he uses his mafia tide to sell the weed, and we become more rich and powerful than we can possible imagine!
(Tails starts laughing maniacally, until...)
Super Sonic: Tails! Tails! Get the fuck out of the way!
Tails: Huh-- What? What are you doing? Where are the Emeralds?
Super Sonic: I used them to get the XBox working. Then the cops busted in and shot Shadow in the spine. Anyway, like I was saying, that's why they call it a matrial meat pie!
(Everyone except Tails laughs. Tails facepalms himself in disbelief)
Officer: Wacky Canuks!