Sonic: (grunts) Man, that celebration got out of hand.
Amy: (laughs) You're telling me.
Sonic: Whoa Amy, what the fuck are you doing here? Wait wait wait...did we have sex? And did you jam a beer bottle up my ass?
Amy: (laughs) Silly goose. Here, I'll take that. (Takes the beer and drinks it) Ahh.
Amy: (laughs) You know how long I've waited to wake up next to you and drink a hot beer out of your ass, (laughs) I feel like a total fairytale princess (laughs).
Sonic: So you did jam a beer bottle up my ass.
Mother Brain: Sonic! I come over to pick up our hung-over infant love child and this is what I find?!
Sonic: She's actually not hung over...which is pretty amazing. She drank a bar...an entire bar!
- Hey Sonic, you up for another round of Vinda-Doomy?
Sonic: Who the fuck are you?
- We boned in the back of that Indian Restaurant? I had the shits?
Sonic: Uh, more specific please.
Link: Attention, y'all, hot bitch coming through.
Peach: Hey Sonic, I'm ready to be bound and ga-- Oh, I see you've got company. You skanks better back off!
(All of Sonic's girlfriends start to argue)
Link: (during the argument) We should burn this place down.
Sonic: SHUT THE FUCK UP! (Link runs away) What we have here is a failure to communicate. I say we resolve this like intelligent, responsible adults.
(Cut to Mother Brain, Amy, Peach and in a Wrestlemania wrestling ring)
Tails: So what's...happening here? What is this?
Sonic: Originally, I just wanted to get all these nutbags out of my office, but now I kinda wanna watch them beat the shit out of each other for my affection.
Tails: Oh, sounds promising.
(The four fight it out in the ring until Amy is the only one left)
Amy: Ooooh, Sonic! I won! Ohh, I've always dreamt of finding the man of my dreams, and knocking a bunch of his skanky one-nighters over the top rope of an unsanctioned royal rumble in order to live happily ever after! (Laughs)
Sonic: Yeah, about that...I just wanted to see your girls fight it out, sooo...Uh, it's not you it's me...There's plenty of fish in the...I'm gay or whatever. Later. (runs off with Tails)
(Amy stands for a moment, until Soniqua suddenly comes over and knocks her down with a chair)