Sonic For Hire: Sonic Knuckles is the second episode of the sixth season of the Sonic For Hire series and is the sixty-seventh episode overall. In this episode, Sonic manages to go back in time and sets off to get himself back on top.
Continuing from the last episode, Sonic time travels to the end of Sonic & Knuckles, where he finds Past Knuckles fighting off Past Eggman's giant mech. Knuckles' constant usage of tired slang is solid evidence that Sonic has arrived in the 1990's. Talking to 90's Knuckles becomes a hassle for Sonic, as he gets annoyed at the novelty wearing off on the various 90's phrases that 90's Knuckles dispenses: "extreme", "radical", "all that and a bag of chips", and especially "Don't go there, Bee-yotch!". Sonic begrudgingly helps 90's Knuckles finish off the giant mech. The destruction of the mech brings about "The Robotnikmeister", A.K.A, 90's Eggman (back when he was still called "Robotnik"). 90's Robotnik vows that Sonic and Knuckles haven't seen the last of him, ironically mentioning his army of badniks, his high tech lab, a flawless septic system, and a perfectly fitting pair of pants. He vows to have his revenge and flies off. 90's Knuckles invites Sonic to celebrate with some "followin' and swallowin'!", though Sonic mentions that he still needs to save his career. Sonic also tells 90's Knuckles that this is as good as it gets for him, since he owns a lame fast food joint that he burns down with a crack pipe in the future.
Soon after, Sonic heads to 90's Tails' place. 90's Tails is confused as to what Sonic is doing here, as Sonic explains that he's come from 20 years in the future. He also tells 90's Tails of the accomplishments of 2013, including a black president and cell phones that people can do tons of stupid stuff on, before mentioning the downside of a bunch of celebrities getting rich and famous by doing nothing. When 90's Tails asks what happens to him, Sonic mentions that he becomes one of the celebrities that gets rich and famous by doing nothing. 90's Tails is psyched about this potential future, asking why he should find something wrong with it. Sonic fibs that 90's tails gets rich and famous by fucking the brother of the singer Brandy and taping it. He then gets to the point of his mission: to tell 90's Tails not to invest his money in Dreamcast stock. Unfortunately, 90's Tails admits that he's already invested the money. Frustrated and desperate, Sonic tells 90's Tails to put the money in the still-blossoming Microsoft and Apple, find a young Mark Zuckerberg, and get him laid or something. Sonic says that he's going to see some video game people to make sure he and Tails are put into the right games so they can be rich in the future. Spouting "Bling Bling!" prompts Sonic hightail it out of the 90's.
Thanks to Sonic's tampering with the timeline, a new reality is created. In this new reality, in lieu of a crappy apartment, Sonic finds his house to be a hundred-story mansion! Sonic tours the almost endlessness of his new home, admiring the paintings of his likeness and Thunderhead being frozen in carbonite. Sonic heads over to a luxury couch facing a wall-sized televison. The day's broadcast of Poster Show is interrupted by a message from the President of the United States, who, in this new reality is, of all people, Princess Potato. "President" Potato drunkenly adresses the nation, wondering where her martini bucket is, and then fainting. Sonic ventures a guess that this alternate reality might be quite interesting.
- 90's Knuckles the Echidna
- Sonic the Hedgehog
- 90's Doctor Eggman
- 90's Miles "Tails" Prower
- Gilius Thunderhead (frozen in carbonate in the new reality)
- Princess Potato (President of the US in the new reality Sonic creates)
Click here to see the transcript.