Narrator: When we left Sonic his life was in grave danger because he almost ate slightly wilted Baby Spinach! Oh and Mario wants to kill him or something like that. I-I- I don't know.
(Sonic's house inside. Sonic and Tails looking at Mario and his goons)
Sonic: Come on, can't we talk about this?
Mario: No! You fucked up my business, Let my brother get hit by a bus, and worst of all somehow you managed to program my DVR so it records each episode of Bachelor Pad like three different times.
Sonic: I thought you liked that show!
Tails: Yeah that was me, I- I like that show.
Sonic: That show is terrible and so are you.
Mario: OK that's it that's it! Various goons. (dramatic music plays) It's murdering time.
(Eggman, Gilius Thunderhead and Kirby break through the wall and Earthworm Jim comes through the door)
Eggman: Not so fast, Mario!
Sonic: Guys, Easy on the wall-smashing! I'm gonna lose my deposit! And what the hell are you doing here?
Eggman: Well I realized that if you die... My life is meaningless.
Sonic: (Laughs) That's so pathetic!
Eggman: Oh fuck you asshole! Let's Rumble! (Doomsday zone music starts playing in the background)
(Gilius Thunderhead starts by Charging and ramming into Eggplant Pit and narrowly missing Dr Wily. Eggman, Earthworm Jim and Kirby run up to attack. The goons split up to attack aswell. Sonic and Mario charge up to each other and start throwing punches at each other. Earthworm Jim takes his head off to hit Bowser then Bowser reacts by chasing Earthworm Jim. Sonic and Mario rolling on the floor still throwing punches at each other)
Eggman: (Throws a beer bottle at Matt Le Blanka) Eat shit, Matt Le Blanka! Oh fuck-
(Matt Le Blanka reacts by jumping on Eggman and starts zapping him. Kirby is then shown killing Mecha-Hitler. Taizo Hori appears behind Kirby. But Kirby instantly inhales him and starts killing Mecha-Hitler again. Dr Wily appears to attack. But Tails picks him up and throws him against the wall killing him. Sonic and Mario still throwing punches. Mike Tyson comes up to kill Sonic. But then Soniqua appears and rips his body open and eats his intestines)
Sonic: It's Soniqua! (Mario looks back, Sonic throws Mario off him and runs away)
Mario: Get back here! (Chases after Sonic)
(Gilius Thunderhead then chops Dracula into two. Then cuts to Earthworm Jim fighting Bowser. Earthworm Jim shoots Bowser in the face killing him. But then he shoots himself in the face)
(Green Hill Zone. Sonic is still running away from Mario then stops)
Sonic: Ow! Cramp in here! Ow!
Mario: Not as fast as you used to be eh Sonic?
Sonic: Yeah, I was planning to get back to the Gym on Monday. After you kill me.
Mario: (pulls out a knife then another dramatic music plays) Shing!
Sonic: Whoa! Since when do you carry a knife?!
Mario: What am I supposed to do? Jump on your head? It's a fuckin knife, I'm gonna stab you with it.
(Mario walks up attempting to stab Sonic. Then Sonic runs up into a spring runs up and pushes Mario into a pit of spikes)
Sonic: Whoa! You may wanna put some Neosporin on that, those spikes are filthy!
Mario: (Grunts then sad music plays) You son of a bitch. Why is this thing here? These don't occur in nature. Oh if I had some extra lives I'd use them all to fuck you up so bad... If you see the Princess... Tell her... tell her I said... She's a bitch...! (dies)
(Then shows Tails and the rest)
Tails: I think this means you're the boss now.
(Mario's office. Sonic is in Mario's chair)
Tails: Alright so what's your first order of business?
Sonic: Well, I figured since poster was destroyed I'd find a suitable replacement. So I found Dominique Wilkins and had him frozen in carbonite.
Tails: This should be interesting.
(End of episode)
Kirby: (off-screen) I like your moustace, Hitler! Eat shit!