FANDOM


“I can always fly. This sucks.” — Miles "Tails" Prower

Sonic For Hire: The Creator (FINAL EPISODE) is the twelfth and final episode of the seventh season of the Sonic For Hire series and is both the ninety-first and final episode overall. In this independent Machinima episode, Sonic and Tails go through one last quest to find The Creator.

Summary

As the final episode of Sonic for Hire opens, Sonic and Tails are seen lounging in Sonic's apartment one last time. Sonic cynically confirms to Tails that the two will be spending their last episode sitting on his pissed-soaked couch. Tails tells him to be quiet, since he's still trying to figure out the last clue they have gotten, briefly getting disgusted as to the reason why Sonic's couch has always been wet, and expressing relief that the series is almost over. Sonic hurries Tails up to solve the clue, with Tails retorting that he's the one who's been solving all the clues. Suddenly, Sonic knows what the last clue means, and runs out, since he tells Tails that there is apparently no time to tell him.

The two proceed to backtrack through various locations throughout the series: past the corpses of the Battletoads, through the gore splattered hallway of Kung-Fu Master, crossing the Great Fox as Slippy, Peppy, and General Pepper look on, passing through the backstage of Sonic on Ice in Casino Zone, as the performer in the Kirby mask strangles the one in the Tails mask, and through the dirt fields of Dig-Dug. As they pass through, Tails mentions that Sonic clearly has enough time to tell him what he's up to, as Sonic repeatedly denies it. Soon, the two have arrived back in Green Hill Zone. Tails mentions that Sonic clearly has time now, and demands to tell him where they are going. Sonic mentions that they still don't have time. Travelling even further back, Sonic and Tails reach their destination: the Sonic for Hire title screen! Tails queries as to what business the two could possibly have here, as Sonic reveals that during the title screen, one can enter a cheat code to activate a level select. Tails congratulates Sonic for finding the answer, then gets sidetracked by the version of him on the show's logo, creeped out by the skin-toned eyelids. Sonic whips out a Genesis controller, and holds down A, Up, Down, Left, and Right, then presses Start. Upon entering the code, a level select appears, displaying all 90 episodes of Sonic for Hire. Tails estimates that the two have done a lot of stupid shit over the years, Sonic mentions that Tails has mostly been doing the stupid shit, as he is awesome. The twosome's attention is then drawn to a name at the very bottom of the list: "The Creator"; the 91st and final episode of the series.

Sonic selects this never before seen name, and in a flash of light, the two are transported to a land of fluffy white clouds. Sonic compares the cloud world to being inside of a giant pillow, before Tails notices someone. This person happens to be a man with a long white beard and a white robe sitting on a chair made of clouds. Tails theorizes that this person is finally the Creator. The person clarifies that he is in fact Santa Claus. There happens to be a spa in this cloud world, and Kringle is relaxing before his pedicure. Sonic becomes fed up with this routine, telling Santa to get out of the way, since he's also not who they're looking for. Tails begins having doubts about ever finding the Creator, to which Sonic agrees that he feels like giving up, and also mentioning that Lord & Taylor is hiring. Suddenly, a bright light flashes in front of them, and out of the light steps, of all people, Dominique Wilkins! (with healed blindness even.) Sonic and Tails are initially nonplussed to see him, but soon realize that he is actually the Creator! Sonic is left incredulous about how an 80's basketball star became the Creator. After briefly becoming angry, Wilkins tells them that when the universe was reset, he was assigned as the Creator, since he has apparently been Sonic's idol. Sonic rebuffs this claim, stating that Rob Lowe is his idol instead. Dominique, confused, brings up the poster of him Sonic kept in the first couple of seasons, mentioning that Sonic used to stare at it for days on end, and actually pray to it to have things get better. This claim carries evidence in the form of a flashback that showcases Sonic crying in front of the poster, begging it to help things get better. Sonic casually mentions that the poster actually was there when he moved in... and he was usually high on angel dust. Tails confirms this fact by having the episode replay the flashback. In this new version, Sonic is revealed to be talking to his never before seen hotplate, begging it to make a better grilled cheese sandwich. Sonic takes the obvious silence as a positive response, and hugs the cooking device, most likely burning his face.

With that out of the way, Tails tells Wilkins that he and Sonic have numerous questions, asking what the meaning of life is, why the Kardashians are a thing, and in Sonic's case, why he was given a cat. Wilkins slows them down, telling Sonic that he must now make the biggest decision of his life: killing his idol. Sonic is instantly against killing Rob Lowe, though Wilkins clarifies that he meant himself. He mentions how he was expecting Sonic to view him as his idol because of the poster, and he would suffer an emotional breakdown, before Sonic shoots him in the head. Tails mentions how they never asked Wilkins why exactly he was fucking with them, effectively turning their quest into a shaggy dog story. Sonic attempts to ask Wilkins why he was fucking with them, but Tails mentions that he's dead. Sonic ignores this, thinking that there is a health meter, though Tails confirms that there isn't one, and Wilkins is permanently dead.

When asked what is supposed to happen now, the two are soon levitated, and taken up to a throne in the clouds. Sonic is plopped into the chair as the Sonic the Hedgehog victory music chimes, signaling that he is the new Creator! Tails, who is left floating, asks what this makes him. Sonic estimates that Tails is now his secretary or something, and also points out that he can fly. Tails glumly mentions that he could always fly. Sonic decides to test out his new found powers. Back on Earth, a revived Mario is lounging in his office, when he suddenly begins floating. A statue to the right of him begins floating as well, and is eventually shoved up his ass. Back in the cloud world, Sonic finally becomes content with his life. Accompanied by the Sonic the Hedgehog credits music, a montage of what has become of the series' side characters is shown:

Zombie Thunderhead and his undead wife are making a living terrorizing villages and brewing their own asswine

Kirby has become a wanted fugitive for murdering over 600,000 video game characters, being dubbed "the LeBron James of Hitlers".

Mother Brain and Soniqua's reality show, Grossy and the Freak, is the number one show on television. Mother Brain has married a pharmaceutical representative named Alan Patterson. They currently dwell on Mars.

Knuckles, still a red pixel, is still working 39 hour shifts at Burgertime and missing his boxing gloves. He attempts to sing Huey Lewis' "Hip To Be Square" to motivate himself, but quickly wishes he was dead.

Link, still partying in the margarita bar, has become the biggest gay rights activist in Hyrule, as well as the spokesman for Super Gay Margarita Mixers.

Princess Potato is shown to be passed out among a pile of drugs and alcohol. The box narrating everyone's lives asks someone to check up on her, as she has been unconscious for 3 days.

Eggman and Earthworm Jim have opened up a beachfront cafe in Dead or Alive, their biggest selling item being the "coke on tits breakfast bonanza".

As the music climaxes, we fade back in on Sonic and Tails, the former of which now has the "best job ever"... until he and Tails abandon their new positions to round up Jim and Eggman to fuck up Q*Bert's pyramid house.

So ends Sonic for Hire... (or does it?)

Character Appearances

Transcript

Sonic: So, we're going to spend the last episode sitting quietly on my pissed, soaked couch?

Tails: Shut up! I'm trying to figure out the last clue to why this thing is always wet! Jesus, I'm glad this thing is almost over!

Sonic: Come on man, figure out already! Do something constructive for once!

Tails: Hey! I've been solving clues this whole time! Why don't you figure it out, asshole! When at the title, the code is the key!

Sonic: Oh, I've got it! Come on, hurry

Tails: Can't you just tell me now?

Sonic: There's no time.

(Sonic and Tails jump over a dead green creature; run past the dead Kung-Fu people)

Tails: (While running in a space ship) Can't you just tell me?

Sonic: No, no. No time.

Tails: (While running past Ice skating costumes)

Tails: When are you going to tell me?

Sonic: I don't know. Still no time.

Tails: (While running through the Dig-Dug game) We have a lot of time here for you to tell me that we're going to-

Sonic: No non no. No time.

Sonic: (In Sonic game) (pants)

Tails: Okay, clearly we've got time. Now can you just fucking tell me?!

Sonic: (Jumps off platform) No time...

(end music)

Tails: What are we doing here?!

Sonic: This is it! During the title screen, you can enter "Cheat code" to jump to any level you want!

Tails: You want this job? Sonic man, that version of you is fucking creepy. I don't like the skin tone eyelids.

Sonic: All right, here we go! Hold down up, down, left, right and start.

(A list of all the Sonic For Hire episodes appear in the background)

Tails: Holy shit! Look at this! It's a lot of suits! We have done a lot of stupid shit

Sonic: That you have. I'm awesome. Look, there it is! The Creator! Here we go!

(Sonic and Tails appear on some clouds)

Sonic: Woo hoo! It's like I'm inside a big old pillow.

Tails: Oh, shit! He's the Creator?

Santa Claus: Oh, I'm not the Creator. I'm Santa Claus. There's an awesome spy here and I'm just chillin' before my next treatment. Gonna get my toes done.

Sonic: Ah, we've been through this a million times already. If you're not the Creator, then get the hell out of my way!

Tails: You think we're gonna find this guy?

Sonic: I don't know. I'm ready to give up here. Lord & Taylor is hiring you.

Tails: You know, they wouldn't be so bad.

(Someone shines, blinding them)

Dominique Wilkins: Hey there, fellows.

Tails: Now, Dominique Wilkins, we were thinking...

Sonic: Wait! You know, can you be the Creator? You are a one-dimensional basketball star in the eighties.

Dominique Wilkins: Fuck you! I could rebound. Hmm, look, when you reset the world, I was assigned as the Creator, since I've always been your idol.

Sonic: You're not my idol. Rob Lowe is my idol! Everybody knows that!

Dominique Wilkins: Oh, but the poster? You used to stare at the poster of me for days and pray for things to get better.

Flashback: Sonic: I... I... just what it takes to get better! Please!

Sonic: That poster was there when I moved in and I was usually high as an angel dust.

Tails: Yeah you should pay the rest of the flashback.

Flashback: Sonic: I... I... just what it takes to get better! Please! Professor hot plate, make a better grilled cheese sandwich! You will? Haha! I'm so happy!

(Flips pan over)

Tails: Anyway... 'Nique, we've got so many questions for you like "What's the meaning of life" and "Why are the Kardashians a thing?"

Sonic: Yeah, what was the deal you will give me, the cat?

Dominique Wilkins: Slow down there. First, you must make the hardest decision of your life: You must kill your idol.

Sonic: Kill Rob Lowe?! No way!

Dominique Wilkins: We'll know me but honestly this was supposed to be tougher because I assumed that I was your idol because of the poster, and then be this whole tense emotional breakdown like he won't. Can he?

Sonic: (Shoots Dominique Wilkins) Yeah, can he?

Tails: We, uh, we never asked him why he was fucking with us. Kind of the point of this whole thing?

Sonic: Right. Hey 'Nique, why were you fucking but also hold on

Tails: He's dead.

Sonic: Son yet. Hold on 'Nique, why were you fucking with...

Tails: I said the whole. I shot him in the head.

Sonic: I know but there's like a buffer

Tails: There's no buffer. (Pause) So now what?

Sonic: Oh, well. (Sonic and Tails fly) What's happening?

Tails: What's going on here?

Sonic: Oh, shit! This is my chair! Does this mean- Yeah, I help you.

Tails: Haha! So what does that make me?

Sonic: I don't know, god secretary. Look, you can fly now.

Tails: That's cool, right? I can always fly. This sucks.

Sonic: Yeah, hold on. Just testing my new powers.

Mario: So, Mario brothers was the best video game of all... Woah! What's going on? I don't like floating in the air. Why is this statue floating at me?

Video

Trivia

  • The Creator is the twenty-sixth and final episode to ever appear on Happy Hour.
  • This episode is Mario and Princess Potato's only appearance in Season 7.