(In the office)

Sonic: Hey, are you still a plumber? I could've used you to fix Eggman's toilet.

Mario: Stop talkin'. You work for me now. You do some jobs for me, you work yourself out of debt. If you fuck up, I'll kill your little fox friend, here.

(A Goomba and a Koopa in mafia suits point their guns at Tails for the block.)

Sonic: Yeah, I'm gonna stop you there. That's not really a threat to me at all.

Tails: Hmm, yeah, na, he's right. He couldn't give a shit if I ever die.

Mario: Whatever. (shows a picture of Toad to Sonic.) I need you to track down this little bastard, and take him out.

Sonic: Nice head, stupid.

(Mario puts the picture of Toad away)

Sonic: So, why do you want him dead?

Mario: He's supposed to be watchin' the princess, but lately, he's been a little distracted.

Sonic: Gotcha! Old mushroom tips been fallin' asleep on the job! I'm on it, Meatball! (runs away)

Mario: (talking to Tails) That guy... is an asshole.

Tails: Yeah, I know.

(In Super Mario Bros. 2, Sonic runs across the hill with a key, along with a Phanto chasing him. Sonic stopped running and held up the key to the Phanto.)

Sonic: Here, just fuckin' take the key! You're creepin' me out!

(The Phanto takes the key, Sonic ran and jumped off the hill, and then he saw Toad having sex with Birdo.)

Sonic: Whoa! What is going on here?

(Toad jumps off of Birdo)

Toad: What the hell you lookin' at, pervert?!

Sonic: You're banging that thing's face.

Toad: If you must know, we're in love. Now, get the fuck outta here, before I lift you up over my head, and throw you a...few feet away from me.

Sonic: Listen, Mario sent me here to kill you. He said you've been slippin' up lately.

Toad: What are you? His little errand boy now, huh?

Sonic: Droppin' to the airport, and--

Toad: Mario says, "Jumpin", you say, "How high?"

Sonic: Whatever he says.

Toad: Big tough guy comes here while I'm makin' sweet, sweet face sex to my mutant bird girlfriend?

Sonic: Pretty gross, man.

Toad: You ain't so tough, you piece of shit! You ain't so--

(Sonic takes a gun from out of nowhere and shoots Toad in the face, killing him.)

Sonic: Okay, took care of that, and nobody was looking. Speakin' of nobody's looking, might as well do a little face sex. (walks over to Birdo)

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